


Little Talks

by literallywhat



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anxious bellamy, F/F, Fluff, Hints to sex, M/M, Mbege is a sociopath, Schizophrenic Murphy, Tags will be added, basically all fluff, bipolar jasper, chap 2 is mostly dialogue, chap 5 is mostly clexa, schizophrenic lexa, story about murphamy in the mental hospital, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:06:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallywhat/pseuds/literallywhat
Summary: Murphy's medicine made him tired. He was, well he was tired of being tired. Murphy began to pocket his medication. He kept them in his pillowcase, deciding he could sell them if he wanted. He was violently ill for a while due to the withdrawals, but no one got suspicious.





	1. The Kid with the Voices in his Head

They said it was caused by trauma. They couldn't diagnose him when he was younger, so they were waiting for the "proper age" to diagnose him with schizophrenia. The trauma was probably his father dying, or maybe it was his mother drinking herself to death. Whatever it was, it landed Murphy in the mental hospital. He's been in the pediatric section of The Ark Mental Rehabilitation Center since he was eight. He was the longest stay. The staff grew fond of him quickly, and they knew he wouldn't do well in foster care, as he barely did well in the hospital. He had violent outbursts often, and was very hostile to the other patients and doctors.

  
When Murphy was first thrown in the hospital, he was assigned a therapist who told him his medication will take him to "The City of Light" or some stupid shit like that. It worked, for a while. Now Murphy is seventeen. He no longer believes the bullshit therapist Jaha wants to spew at him. He had such odd ways of going about therapy that Murphy often questioned if he was really licensed to be a therapist.

  
Murphy's medicine made him tired. He was, well he was tired of being tired. Murphy began to pocket his medication. He kept them in his pillowcase, deciding he could sell them if he wanted. He was violently ill for a while due to the withdrawals, but no one got suspicious.

  
He and Mbege, the only other kid there for almost as long as he was, made a business. They sold Murphy's medication for extra food, outside food, cigarettes, anything really. They were the only two kids who didn't have any visits, so bribing the other kids to give them all the stuff their family brought them with pills was great. Murphy honestly didn't understand why they wanted his pills, since they just made him sleepy and sedated, but he wasn't going to complain as long as he got his McDonald's.

  
Mbege maybe wasn't the best influence on Murphy, as it was his idea to sell his pills, and he always joked by pointing to a blank wall and going "Murph, you see that?" Murphy learned that Mbege was, what doctors would call, a sociopath. He never bothered to learn what that meant. He just knew Mbege was his best friend. That is until he turned eighteen.

  
They were in the midst of celebrating his birthday, the staff brought cake, when Murphy noticed people taking stuff out of his and Mbege's room.

  
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?" Murphy shouted at some nursing assistant who he couldn't bother to remember his name.

  
"I'm moving Mbege out of the children's section. He's an adult now." Murphy thinks his name might be Jackson? He was the only person who called the patients by what they wanted to be called. Abby was on and off with the names.

  
"What?" Murphy's face fell. His best friend, his only friend, was moving to a different section. "No, that's not fair. Mbege-" he turned to his friend. "It's not fair, right?"

  
"Dude," he started as he waved a hand for Jackson to go away. "Once you're eighteen, you're not a kid. They switch you to the adult side. You've been here longer than anyone, how did you not know that?" Mbege went the rest of the day, enjoying all the attention he was getting. Murphy spent the rest of the day sitting in his own self pity. Mbege didn't bother to say goodbye.

  
It was time for therapy, and Murphy was not in the mood to deal with Jaha.

  
"John, you seem a bit agitated today."

  
"It's Murphy." He corrected bitterly.

  
"I know your friend has moved, but in a few months, you will follow in his steps. Doesn't that sound nice?"

  
"Fuck off with your preachy bullshit." And with that, he walked out. To be fair, that was the longest session they had, had in a long time.

  
Days passed without a single person for Murphy to talk to. During "activity hour", he would just stare at the blank wall. He began to count the scratches and missing chips in the white paint on the wall. Twenty four scratch marks in total. Murphy was pretty sure he made all of them. He threw things a lot, decided he wanted to redecorate, moved furniture around haphazardly...and sometimes he just got bored and tried to write on the walls with his nails. Murphy thought they should repaint.

  
There was this new girl Murphy tried to talk to. Her name was Lexa. She was also schizophrenic, but on the paranoid side of it. All she did was talk about her "clan" and how she's a head or something? And that the other so called clans were out to get her. She demanded to be called "Commander". Murphy couldn't care less. He didn't like her, but he didn't like her girlfriend even more. Clarke, he thinks her name is. _Boys' name_. She was Abby's daughter. Doctor Abby, the woman who can't mind her own fucking business.

  
She came to visit. Murphy took note that she was the only visitor that Lexa got. He took note of everyone's visitors and everyone's disorders. I mean, he was there long enough so why not. He had nothing better to do.

  
Jasper, the kid with bipolar disorder, he was there for three months so far. He seemed to be better, but then again it could just be a high. Murphy didn't bother to talk to him, but Jasper, when in a good mood, wouldn't stop questioning him about what he saw and heard. His friend, Monty? He was some weird kind of smart. He would unintentionally encourage Murphy's bad thoughts. He and Jasper would often discuss if Murphy actually just had the ability to see things that others couldn't in hushed tones. Murphy would always tell them to fuck off.

  
Murphy constantly had someone on watch for him. He tended to be violent. Especially towards Jasper. But as he hasn't acted out in seven days, his longest streak, they decided to let him sleep without someone on guard. Thank god. Everyone had roommates. Expect for Murphy. Everyone was afraid to share their room with him, and if they were willing, Murphy would soon change their mind.

  
It was nine at night, which meant lights out. Murphy walked to his room, barefooted against the hospital rules, and sat on his bed. Since he was alone, he combined the two beds a long time ago, so he had a nice big bed. It was dark, but the boy noticed a shadow next to him. One that wasn't his. He turned quickly to see a man standing on the opposite side of the bed with an awkward, lopsided smile.

  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing in here?" Murphy snapped.

  
"I'm your new roommate."


	2. The kid with Anxiety

Murphy was shocked and furious. He practically threw himself off the bed trying to stand up. He ran to the door to protest to Abby when the man spoke again.

  
"I'm sorry, there's no other room, and they told me that this was the only free one."

  
Murphy, instead of opening the door, flicked on a light at looked at his roommate, who was now squinting.

  
Murphy's jaw practically dropped when he saw the literal reincarnation of God Himself in front of him. The man, the God, gave him a shaky hand wave.  
"I'm Bellamy."

  
"What are you here for?" Murphy's eyes narrowed. Yes, he had a beautiful new roommate, but that doesn't mean he has to like him.

  
"What?" His face flushed. "Oh! Oh, yeah uh, anxiety."

  
Murphy almost laughed, but he saw the shaking and tenseness in Bellamy's body, so he swiftly turned it into a cough. Honestly Murphy thought it was a little pathetic to go into a mental hospital just for anxiety.

  
"You look too old to be in the kids section. How old are you?"

  
"I'm almost eighteen. I know, I look older than I am." He rubbed his neck, which Murphy noticed turned red. "What's your name?" His voice was timid. Murphy rolled his eyes.

  
"Murphy."

  
"Oh, nice to meet you, Murphy." He smiled and held out a hand.

  
Murphy ignored it. "Take the two beds apart, I'm too tired to do it. You look strong enough. Goodnight."

  
And Murphy laid down and went to bed, leaving Bellamy confused and moving his side of the bed to the opposite side of the room, trying very carefully not to make any noise.

  
That night Murphy only dreamt of his godly roommate and himself in some...inappropriate situations. Pinned against the wall, then the bed, his lips were soft but his kiss was rough. His hands were around his neck, but it felt good. And Bellamy was so big, Murphy felt so full and-

  
"Morning." He sat straight up in bed, hair a mess, and pants slightly wet.

  
Murphy's head snapped to look at the source of the noise, the man responsible for his embarrassing situation. He didn't notice.

  
"Fuck. What time is it?"

  
"Seven. That's when we have breakfast, right? It says that on the schedule." Bellamy began to unfold the piece of paper they give you when you're first admitted in.

  
"I don't wake up until they drag me out of bed."

  
"Okay, well I'll be out there, probably all alone...you know, because I know no one here..." Bellamy gave an exaggerated sigh and slowly made his way towards the door.

  
For some reason, Murphy felt compelled to sit with him. Probably just because he's hot.

  
"Fine. I'll come. Just...I need to change first."

  
"You got it." Bellamy gave him a cheeky smile and walked out of the room.

  
After Murphy fixed his...situation, he walked out to see everyone sitting in groups, and Bellamy alone at a table. The table him and Mbege shared. Murphy grabbed his off-brand cereal, Wheaty O's, and an orange juice. Bellamy had the same thing. He sat across from Bellamy.

  
"So." He said, not really sure what he was going for.

  
"So how long have you been here?"

  
"I'm the longest stay. Kinda lost track." He shrugged and dug into his cereal.

  
"Oh...don't you miss home?"

  
Murphy laughed at that, mouth still full of fake Cheerio's. "Home? I don't have one."

  
"Oh..." Bellamy stated again, avoiding Murphy's sharp eyes. "Why not?"

  
"Enough from you. Why are you here? Truly just for anxiety? That's it?"

  
Bellamy seemed taken aback by his bluntness. "Anxiety is a serious problem."

  
"Sure it is, bud."

  
"Well why are you here?"

  
"Schizophrenia." Murphy stopped eating to look into Bellamy's eyes with the most expressionless face he could muster.

  
"Oh." A third time from Bellamy's mouth.

  
"Yeah I have real problems."

  
Bellamy looked at Murphy, angry that he just undermined his illness, but he figured Murphy liked to fight. Bellamy did not, so he didn't push it.  
Murphy’s eyes narrowed as he dropped the subject. Murphy didn’t like that. He liked a little bit of a fight. And he wanted to see Mr. Perfect crack, but dammit he wouldn't.

  
“I will break you.”

  
Bellamy laughed, slightly intimidated, but mostly just because of his sharp features. The kid was scrawny, no way he could fight Bellamy. Both of them knew that.

  
“This is gonna be fun.” Bellamy winked at Murphy and left the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all told mostly from murphy's point of view, which is why he doesn't think anxiety is a problem, which i do not agree with. he's just bitter and judgmental but i want you guys to know him and i don't share the same views on anxiety lmao. anyways, comments and kudos are very nice, thank you for reading! sorry this was a little rushed. it was mostly just a chapter to get bellamy introduced, so kind of a filler. sorry!!


	3. The Pills he won't Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is again more of a filler chapter, I'm sorry! It's super short as well, but I'm also working on another story that's super long, and I want that one to be really good. And I'm busy with school and everything. But I hope you enjoyed this! Next chapter there will be less dialogue lmao I promise. Thank you for reading!

"Why don't you get any visitors?" Bellamy asked one night.

  
"Both of my parents are dead." Murphy mumbled with closed eyes and rolled over, away from Bellamy.

  
"Oh, I'm so-"

  
"If you're sorry then show me by shutting the fuck up." Murphy threw his only pillow over his ears and squeezed his eyes tighter.

  
"You know," he started again.

  
Murphy groaned loudly and sat up to look at him. "What?!"

  
"You're very angry for such a small guy."

  
Murphy stopped. "I'm not small." He crossed his arms.

  
"You're skinny, kinda short, well shorter than me, and you act like a kid who got a time out. I guess they don't really teach you how to grow up in here, do they?" There was no venom in the sentence, but Murphy felt as if he was shot.

  
"Oh, like you're any better? You're in here because you're stressed. Everyone gets stressed."

  
"Anxiety is different, Murphy. But what about your problems? You see things that aren't there? Hear things? Do you think the world is out to get you? Is that why you're such a dick?" Now there was an edge to his words. The fight Murphy was looking for, but suddenly didn't want.

  
"Fuck you." He laid down and closed his eyes.

  
"Again, very mature." And the rest of the night was silent.

  
Then next day, Murphy didn't leave his room. He was too exhausted and pissed to be around anyone else--for their safety. Bellamy didn't speak to him, didn't even look at him. Fine, Murphy thought. Good. That guy's hot, but that's it. Just looks, nothing more.

  
That night, Murphy took his pills and hid them under his tongue. Jackson walked out and Murphy immediately began to pull the pills out of his mouth, now sticky because of his saliva.

  
"What are you doing?"

  
Murphy spit. "Stashing my pills."

  
"But why?"

  
"To sell them and get money and food."

  
"You know you should take your pills right?"

  
"They make me sleep, I think they're bullshit. Anyways, I'm fine. I think it was just a short term thing. I'm good now, they just won't let me out because I'm too "angry" or some shit."

  
"You clearly are very angry."

  
Murphy gave him a small glare. Bellamy noticed the bags under his eyes, and the sleepiness that tugged at his eyelids.

  
"Did you sleep at all last night?"

  
"No. I was too pissed off to sleep."

  
Then Bellamy all of a sudden got up and walked to his bed. Murphy moved over as to not touch him. "We need to get along if we're gonna be in here together for a while. Let's just find stuff we have in common. Um...you like sports?" Bellamy looked him up and down and changed his mind. "How about video games?"

  
"What, I can't like sports 'cause I'm "small"?"

  
"Oh, so you like them?"

  
"No."

  
Bellamy laughed. A good laugh. A laugh that he hasn't heard since he was hospitalized. Murphy gave up and cracked a smile and began laughing as well. It was stupid, nothing funny about the conversation but it just felt so _good_ to laugh. He felt so free in that moment.

  
"Ha! See, you're more than just an angry little man."

  
Murphy rolled his eyes, still smiling. "Sleep deprivation, don't get used to it."

He gave Bellamy a nudge on the shoulder, ignoring how electric it felt. "Go to bed."

  
Bellamy got up, and got into his own bed. He whispered a soft "Take your pills." Murphy didn't hear him.

  
And with that, Murphy slept soundly and happily for the first time in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, critiques would be appreciated. Thank you!


	4. The Note he Left

Murphy woke up around 9:00. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he saw the time right. _Why did they let me sleep in?_ He thought to himself. He looked over to the bed next to his. It was empty. Murphy sat up straighter and noticed a small box of off-brand cereal on the night stand with a little note that said;  
" _I told them you were sick all night so you could sleep in._  
_Bell_ "

  
Murphy couldn't stop the smile that formed on his face, but he quickly shook it off. It was a kind gesture, something he was not used to. Not in the slightest. Why would Bellamy do that? Why was he being so nice? Murphy couldn't stop his stomach from bubbling with something he so desperately tried to oppress. Fuck.

Bellamy's probably straight as an arrow. Plus, with anxiety, he'll probably be out of here in no time. It was a stupid crush. He wouldn't let it get out of hand. Or at least he can try to let it not get out of hand. Try as he might, things don't always work out for John Murphy. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, Murphy's Law.

  
Murphy, still holding the note, was deeply lost in his thoughts when his loud stomach snapped him out of his thoughts. He shook his head and began to eat the dry cereal. He noticed a little juice box. Orange juice. He smiled again, but quickly dropped it. He never smiles. That's way too many and he's only been awake for like five minutes.

  
"Morning, Murph!" Bellamy walked in and closed the door behind him.

  
_Murph?_

  
"Hi," he said softly through his cereal. "Thanks. You know, for this." He held the note up and kept eating.

  
"No problem. You look...you look less like shit." Bellamy laughed and sat on his own bed.

  
Murphy gave him a half hearted glare. "Wow, thanks. You know, it's hard to live up to you. I mean, you're the only one here who cares enough to try to look nice. We're in a hospital, Bellamy. Stop looking," he made a hand gesture just waving around Bellamy. "You know."

  
"What?" He laughed out. "What are you on about?"

  
"You look good. Stop doing that." His cheeks felt red. Fuck.

  
"Well thanks, Murph."

  
"Why 'Murph', where did that come from?"

  
"Okay, John. Thank you."

  
"No, no." He put his empty cereal box down. "It's Murphy."

  
"Technically it's John. I was talking to that nurse...uh," Bellamy thought hard, and finally remembered her name. "Abby. She told me your name is John Murphy. Everyone calls you Murphy. I thought I'd try out Murph. Is that a problem?" Bellamy had on a face of confidence, but inside he was fizzing with anxiety. He was kinda like a shaken soda can. Looked good on the outside, but the inside is ready to explode.

  
"No...it's okay," Murphy was quiet for a little. "Bell." He added in, trying out the nickname Bellamy had written on the piece of paper.

  
Bellamy smiled and chuckled a little. He never expected Murphy to be shy and awkward, but there he was, blushing like a little girl and talking softly. So softly that Bellamy could barely hear him. He liked that. He liked to know that Murphy wasn't all tough, he liked that he had a soft center. And it certainly helped with his own anxiety issues.

  
“So why’d you do it?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at Murphy’s question, so he clarified. “Why did you, you know…like arrange this so I could sleep in?”

  
“Oh! Well, ‘cause you looked real tired, and I thought maybe if you got some sleep, you would be less of an ass.”

  
Murphy rolled his eyes, but he felt a little laugh bubble up inside him. No, no, no. Why is he acting like this? Why is he so giddy? Fuck. His feelings started to get out of hand.

  
“Don’t expect any favors back.” Murphy quelled his laugh.

  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Bellamy stood up and Murphy gave him a questioning look. “Shower.” He said as he walked out.

  
“Fuck.” Murphy thought aloud. “Fuck. Don’t do this to yourself, man. He’s probably straight, and plus, this is a fucking nuthouse. You don’t find relationships in here. Maybe a good fuck or two, but nothing more. Jesus. Soon he’s gonna turn 18 and leave just like Mbege did. But goddamn is he hot…dammit I have such a hot roommate.” He shook his head and laid down. “I’m in such deep shit.”

  
A clearing of a throat launched Murphy into a sitting position. “Forgot a towel.” Bellamy grabbed the single folded towel that was resting on his own bed.

  
“Oh…when, uh, when did you walk back in?” Murphy's cheeks were bright red.

  
“Just to hear you say that you’re in deep shit.” Murphy sighed of relief, and Bellamy walked back to the door. “Oh, and that I’m hot.” He winked and walked out of the room, leaving Murphy to drown in his own embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this story was gonna go in a completely different direction, but then i was reading the comments so i changed my mind. this is the result of the change. i think you guys will like it better. it's more fluffy and a lot more gay.  
> comments and kudos are always appreciated! thank u for reading!  
> (i also really wanted to name this chapter murphy's law but i decided to stick with the type of titles i started already)  
> (also i know orange juice doesn't come in a box, but in the hospital they have these weird plastic jugs that they come in so that's what i'm talking about)


	5. The Girls with a Love Story

Murphy managed to avoid Bellamy up until visiting hours. Murphy was a little disappointed to see a pretty girl come to visit him, but he soon found out that it was his sister, and the jealousy faded away. Murphy casually walked over to Lexa and her visitor Clarke and sat down.

Both girls stopped talking and looked over towards him.

  
“What do you want.” Lexa stated, rather than being friendly and asking.

  
“Lex, calm.” Clarke giggled. “Murphy, is it?”

  
“Yeah, you’re Abby’s daughter right?” He was fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

  
“Yeah…are you okay? Do you need her or something?”

  
“No, I just…you guys are dating right?”

  
“Yes. Now leave.” Lexa turned her head.

  
“I have a question…or a few.” Murphy was on edge.

  
“What kind of questions?” Clarke tilted her head. She was slightly concerned, but she mostly liked to get a reaction out of Lexa.

  
“How did you guys start dating? Like…did anything happen before? Or like…did anything embarrassing happen?”

  
“What are you talking about, John?” Lexa asked, a little friendlier now, but still not inviting.

  
“Well, actually-“

  
“Clarke, don’t." Lexa sat up straighter.

  
“Lexa was in my mom’s outpatient program before she came here.” She started smiling. “And she was always quiet and never spoke. I would go in to visit my mom sometimes, and to get experience for colleges. So I noticed this girl always sitting quietly by herself and-“

  
“Clarke. Shut up.” Lexa’s eyes were wide and Clarke continued on, laughing.

  
“And one day it was just us in the little therapy room, and I started to walk out, because I didn’t want to sit there with someone who wasn’t gonna talk to me, and as I’m at the door, I heard a faint “hot damn” come from her mouth.” Clarke was hysterical at this point, and Lexa’s cheeks were as red as Murphy’s that morning.

  
“Clarke!”

  
“But it got my attention, so I started talking to her, and well, the rest is history.” She smiled softly at Lexa and grabbed her hands. “We’re very happy now.”

  
“So…you’re not, like, humiliated every time you see her?” He questioned Lexa.

  
“What is this about, Murphy?”

  
“John called Bellamy hot, and he overheard.” Lexa smirked.

  
“What? No, how did, where did you hear that?” Murphy’s cheeks stole Lexa’s redness.

  
“I heard him talking to his sister.”

  
“Really? What else did he say?” Murphy was on the edge of his seat.

  
“I don’t know. I think I stopped listening.” Lexa gave Murphy a smug look and turned back to Clarke.

  
“No! What did he say?”

  
“If I’ve learned anything from the seven months we’ve dated, you can’t force information out of Lexa. Unless you’re me of course. And I would love to help you out, but this is too funny.” She paused. “No offense or anything.”

  
Murphy gave both girls a strong glare and got up. He sat on the other side of the room, arms crossed, red in the face, watching them.

  
Clarke was softly rubbing her thumb over Lexa’s hand. Lexa had the smallest smile on her face, and her eyes were as soft as cotton. He’d never seen her look so…so kind before. Clarke was doing most of the talking, and Lexa seemed to be listening intently with an occasional nod of the head or a chuckle. Sometimes the softest shade of pink would cross over one of the girl’s faces. Murphy hated to admit it, but it was kinda sweet.

  
Suddenly he felt a presence next to him. Bellamy. Murphy sunk lower in his chair and pulled his shirt over his face.

  
“What? You don’t wanna see your hot roommate?” Bellamy questioned.

  
“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Murphy sat up and looked at him.

  
“You know, I can’t take you seriously with your face as red as a tomato.”

  
“Great. Can you leave now?” Murphy wanted to die. He wanted Death to come right down from heaven (or up from hell) and take him away. He didn’t care where he ended up. Anything was better than sitting in suffocating embarrassment.

  
"Well who else would I talk to? My sister just left, and everyone else has a visitor. Besides you."

  
Murphy let out a deep groan. "Yeah, I said you're hot. But that's it, okay?" He snapped. "You're hot, so what?! Plenty of people are hot. Shut up." He looked down at his fingers and began to pick at his skin.

  
"If it makes you feel any better," Bellamy stood up. "I think my roommate is pretty hot too."

  
Murphy looked up at Bellamy, trying to assess whether that was a joke or not. Bellamy didn't seem to be joking, but he shot him a wink and walked away. Suddenly Murphy felt very hot. He heard a giggle and saw Clarke and Lexa watching him. He threw a pillow at them, missing.

  
"John!" Jaha walked over to him. "No throwing things. I thought you were done with this violence streak. Do you need an extra session?"

  
"No." He spoke. "Sorry, girls. Didn't mean to throw the pillow at you." He spoke monotonous.

  
"Good, we'll just work on your apology skills next session." He walked away.

  
"This is the worst day of my life." Murphy muttered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to include more clexa, they'll show up again tho don't worry! Sorry this chapter is messy, I wrote it before class so it's a little rushed. Regardless I hope you enjoyed. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!  
> Thanks for reading!


	6. The Plan

"Poor Murphy." Clarke frowned as she looked at the crumpled up, embarrassed boy.

  
"John will be fine." Lexa didn't even glance at him.

  
"Oh! We should set them up!" Clarke chirped and sat up straighter.

  
"And how would we do that?"

  
Clarke frowned, but Jasper hopped into the conversation. "I have an idea."

  
Soon, after visiting hours were over, the plan went into action. It was activity hour and no patients were allowed in their rooms. Clarke managed to stay, because her mom is one of the head doctors. Jasper sat right next to Murphy on the couch and just talked. He didn't shut the fuck up. It took three minutes for Murphy to walk away. There was nowhere for him to go, because Bellamy was sitting on the other couch, so, just as Jasper predicted, he went straight to the janitor's closet. (That's usually where he went to escape from Jasper when he couldn't just go in his room).

  
Clarke got up and sat right next to Bellamy on the couch and sighed deeply, a little too dramatic. Bellamy looked at the doctor's daughter and asked if she was okay.

  
"Lexa spilled juice all over herself," she began, thinking back on Lexa's face as Jasper poured some juice onto her lap. "And now she's all sticky and mad."

  
"Oh...well get her some paper towels or wipes or something." Bellamy suggested, shrugging. He didn't know why this was being shared with him.

  
"Yeah," she gave Lexa a nod and continued. "I could go into the janitor's closet and get wipes. Thanks, Bellamy." Clarke smiled and began to walk to the closet slowly just as Lexa called her over.

  
"Clarke come help." She was the least enthused, especially since she had the sticky lap.

  
"Crap...Bellamy, can you go in the closet and get the wipes?"

  
"Uh, am I allowed?" He worriedly asked. He didn't want to get in trouble.

  
"I'll keep a lookout, please?"

  
Bellamy nodded and headed inside.

  
Jasper quickly jumped up and locked the door behind him, trapping both boys in the closet with each other.  
"Whose bright idea was it to have a lock on the outside of this door?" Jasper laughed and handed over the wipes he took earlier to Lexa. "Sorry about...that."

  
\--

  
Murphy looked up to see Bellamy standing over him in the small, confined closet. "What the fuck..." he muttered and stood up. "Why are you in here?"

  
"Why are _you_ in here?" He asked back, all too quickly.

  
"To get away from Jasper. Your turn." He said, crossing his arms.

  
"To get Lexa some wipes." He looked around and grabbed a box. "Now I'm leaving." He jiggled the doorknob, nothing happened. He tried again, and failed.

  
"What's happening, why aren't you opening the door?"

  
"I think it's locked..." Bellamy thought back through the events that just happened and sighed. "They locked us in here."

  
"Who? Who's 'they'?" Murphy began to pull at the door.

  
"Clarke, Lexa, and Jasper."

  
Murphy slammed his flat palm onto the door. "Why the fuck."

  
"Well, hey. Now at least we have a chance to talk."

  
"No, no, no." Murphy backed as far away from Bellamy as he could, which was about three feet. "We sit here till someone opens the door. Who the fuck puts a lock on the outside of a door?!"

  
"I thought you'd be happier to be trapped in here with your very hot roommate." Bellamy smirked, crossing his...very, very toned arms. How did Murphy never notice how built he was before? God he could only imagine what he looked like without a shirt. If his arms are that big-"Hello?" Murphy shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts.

  
"What? No." He cleared his throat, cheeks red. "You added in very. I didn't say that."

  
"Why are you blushing?"

  
He felt his face heat up even more. Goddamn his pale complexion. "Because I'm fucking embarrassed, okay?! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

  
"Murphy," his voice softened.

  
"No. Don't do a fucking pity voice with me. No. Fuck you. You can’t just waltz in here with your fucking muscles and good looks, saying you have anxiety but being real cocky to me, and you just happen to be my roommate, which I do not think is a coincidence. You are here just for the soul purpose of making my life-" Murphy was cut off. His rant was cut short by a pair of soft lips on his. Murphy was surprised, but even more surprised that he didn't pull away. He almost melted until Bellamy ended their kiss.

  
"You okay now?"

  
Murphy blinked.

  
The older man chuckled. "I wanted you to stop talking."

  
"It worked." He managed to squeak out. He rubbed his throat and coughed.

  
"You have nice lips." Bellamy stated. Again, feeling like a soda can.

  
"You have-" Murphy cut himself off and pulled Bellamy into another kiss. Bellamy moved his soft lips against Murphy’s rough ones. He didn’t mind the friction they provided, he actually liked it. As Bellamy’s tongue slipped into Murphy’s mouth, a small, half-moan escaped from the smaller man’s throat. Murphy brought his hands up and into Bellamy's curly hair. Bellamy pulled Murphy closer by his waist.

  
The door began to open, and thank god Bellamy was focused enough to pay attention to that, as Murphy was in a different universe, and he pulled away just as the outside light hit them. Murphy’s face was flushed and his eyes were wide. Bellamy chuckled.

  
“…nice lips.” Murphy quietly finished his sentence.

  
“Oops, looks like I accidentally locked the door behind you guys, sorry,” Jasper started. Murphy pushed past the boy and sped to his room.

This day was way too eventful for poor little Murphy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could have been written better, i'm so sorry (also thank u for ur suggestions i love them)


	7. The Soda Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for anxiety attacks, and anesthesia awareness if you know what that is lol sorry.

Murphy was having sweet dreams about Bellamy's sweet lips when he suddenly awoke to the pitter patter of feet on the cold wooden floor. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, his hair was a mess, but he didn't really give a shit. He looked at the clock, it read 3:21 am.

  
"Bellamy?" He yawned out as he watched the tall man pace around the small room with his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. "What are you doing?"

  
Bellamy uncrossed his arms but continued to pace. "I'm worried about Octavia."

  
"Your sister? Why?" He sat up straighter and fixed his hair.

  
"I told you. I told you she was going into surgery. I told you that she needs her tonsils out. You know this. Why are you asking?" He rushed out, now standing still and staring at Murphy.

  
"Calm down. She'll be fine. It's a simple-"

  
"Do you know what could happen? Do you know about anesthesia awareness?"

  
"What?"

  
"It's when you're awake while having surgery. You can't move, you're paralyzed, but you can hear and feel everything. Everything. You know how much pain that would be? I don't! It's traumatizing, I watched a video about this. It's a serious problem, and it happens way more than you think it does. Murphy, what if my sister is awake during the surgery? Then what?" Murphy was stunned by the shaking man in front of him. He opened his mouth to respond, but Bellamy continued, pacing again. "What if the surgery goes wrong and she like-she like chokes on her own blood and dies? This is a surgery meant for kids, because they can heal faster. She's not a kid anymore. I mean she's still a kid, but she's not a _kid_ , kid, you know? What if she dies? Fuck, Murphy, she's my only family." The soda can was opened. Fizz and soda poured out of the can, long awaiting to erupt. Tears were now streaking his freckled face.

  
"Bellamy, sit down." Murphy's eyes were wide, he pulled him down to sit on his bed. "Why are you freaking out? She's going to be fine. I promise you." Murphy was rubbing his hand along his back, trying to ignore how many muscles he has, because no, Murphy, he's upset. He's crying. He needs help.

  
Murphy didn't know what to do. "Bellamy, it's okay. She's okay."

  
"But what if she's not?" He whimpered out.

  
"I'm positive she will be." Murphy said, a little unsure now that Bellamy put all of that in his head. "Shit, you're shaking."

  
"It's called an anxiety attack, Murph."

  
Murphy paused, hand stilled on his vibrating back. Guilt bubbled up inside of him. "I'm sorry...for you know...making fun of it." Murphy then reached into his pillow case and took out a single pill.

"Here. Take this. It'll help you calm down."

  
Bellamy stood up immediately and walked away. "I'm not taking your pills, Murphy. I don't need antipsychotics, I need anti anxiety."

  
"Same thing. These are like tranquilizers, it'll help you sleep." Murphy had good intentions, but it was a bad idea. Bellamy knew it.

  
"Fuck off, Murphy. Take your own damn pills." He laid down, back to Murphy.

  
The shorter man just stared at his still shaking body. He held the pill for a few more minutes, but decided to put it back in his pillow. He laid down with full intentions of sleeping, but he couldn't get what just happened out of his head. He sat up and took a pill. An hour later, he was out.

  
\--

  
It was morning, and Murphy could not wake up. There's a reason why they give out meds at 9pm rather than 3am. He wouldn't be active much that day.

  
Murphy was still asleep during lunch, but he was forced out of his room by Abby, so he was sleeping on the hard couch.

  
"Murphy!" He heard a muffled voice call out in his dreams.

  
_He was laying in his hospital bed, strapped down. Jackson was yelling his name to wake him up. He opened his eyes to find a blurry medical room around him. He sat up slowly and looked around._

_  
"What am I doing here?"_

_  
"You completely lost your mind when we told you that this "Bellamy" guy isn't real."_

_  
Murphy froze. "What?" He barely breathed out._

_  
"You took your pills again, and you stopped seeing him._

  
"Murphy!" He jolted up from his position on the couch to find Bellamy smiling over him.

  
"What the fuck, Bellamy! You scared the shit out of me!"

  
"Sorry, but," he began, sitting next to Murphy, pushing his feet out of the way. "Octavia is okay!" He grinned again. "You were right, she's fine. She's a little hurt, but she's okay!"

  
"Are you real?" Murphy ignored Bellamy's statement and stared straight forward with his legs to his chest.

  
"Uh...yeah. Pretty sure." Bellamy ran his hands over his chest. "Solid. I think I'm real." He joked.

  
"No. Like...what if I'm just imagining you?" He still didn't look at Bellamy.

  
"Then how would I be able to do this?" He asked as he shouted a 'hey' over to Jasper, who excitedly responded with "Hey, Bellamy!"

  
The taller man looked back at Murphy. "I wouldn't interact with other people if I was fake."

  
"What if all of this is fake? And I'm just in a padded room imagining all of this shit happening."

  
Bellamy bit his lip, thinking. He suddenly leaned forward and gave Murphy a soft and slow kiss on the lips. "Did you feel that?"

  
Murphy's stomach was filled with butterflies. "Yeah."

  
"Then this is real."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so gay. & thank u for your suggestions (u know who u r). If you enjoyed please leave kudos or comments! Thank you for reading!


	8. The Doctor's Daughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short and late! i'm so sorry, it's just been so hectic lately that i haven't had the time. hope you enjoy it anyway!

It was midnight, and Murphy was still awake. His eyes were open, and his head was rising and falling slowly with the rhythm of Bellamy’s breaths. Murphy bit his lip as he felt the taller man’s bare chest. His chest was still glistening from sweat. They didn’t sleep together, no, but hands and lips were everywhere. Bellamy was willing to go farther, and Murphy wanted to, he did, but he didn’t want to get too attached. When was Bellamy leaving?

  
“Bell?” Murphy’s voice sounded much weaker than he intended. Bellamy didn’t wake up.

  
Murphy untangled himself from Bellamy’s arms and pulled on a shirt. “Bellamy.” He placed his hands on the man’s firm chest and shook him lightly.

  
Bellamy yawned, but kept his eyes closed. “Yeah?”

  
“When do you turn 18?” He asked softly.

  
Bellamy sat up, eyes opening slowly. “What? Why?”

  
“Because when you turn 18, or when I do, whoever comes first, leaves.”

  
“Not for a while, don’t worry. Just go back to sleep.”

  
Murphy wasn’t satisfied with this answer, but Bellamy pulled him back down, and he practically melted into his arms, letting sleep take him over.  
The next morning went on normally, the two boys ate breakfast together, and soon visiting hours rolled around. Bellamy was talking to Octavia, who was rubbing her throat, and Murphy sat alone. His blue eyes scanned the room until he saw a familiar couple sitting and holding hands. He got up and made quick strides to the two ladies. He sat himself down.

  
“Are you going to do this everyday, John?” Lexa let go of Clarke’s hands and turned to him.

  
“Just sit with Bellamy and his sister.” Clarke suggested.

  
“He won’t tell me.”

  
“Tell you what?” Clarke furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly like a dog. That was something Lexa always found cute about her.

  
“When his birthday is.” Murphy’s hands were folded on his lap, and he was staring at the two siblings.

  
“Why do you want to know?” Lexa asked.

  
“So I know when he turns 18 and leaves me.”

  
“I mean,” Clarke started, Murphy was barely listening, trying to tune into Bellamy and Octavia’s conversation, but they were both speaking softly. “I can probably sneak into my mom’s office and look at his file.” Clarke joked.

  
Murphy snapped his head back to Clarke. “You’d do that?” His eyes were wide. He looked like a little kid on Christmas morning with a ton of presents and twinkling lights. Clarke didn’t want to be the one to ruin Christmas, so she nodded. “Just give me some time, and I’ll do that.”

  
Murphy jumped up from his chair and hugged Clarke. “Thank you.” Both Lexa and Clarke were surprised by this. Murphy let go, smiled, and walked to his usual couch and took a nap, finally feeling a little at ease.

  
“You’re seriously going to look through the files, Clarke? Your mom is going to kill you.” Lexa stated.

  
“Yeah, but…you saw how happy he got. I’ve never seen him so…I don’t know…not angry. He actually looked hopeful, and you know me, I can’t break someone’s hope like that. Plus, it’s just my mom. I won’t get arrested, worst comes to worst, I would just be grounded for a little while.”

  
“So then you wouldn’t be able to visit me.”

  
“I don’t know, but I’m not planning on getting caught.”

  
“Oh god, Clarke. Are you going to do another plan?”

  
Jasper sat up straight, he was zoned out while his friend Monty was talking, more so listening to the girls than to his friend, but he heard the word ‘plan’ and turned to the two girls. “What’s the plan?”

  
“Jasper. You don’t have to include yourself in all of these, uh-“

  
“Schemes.”

  
“Yeah. It’s fine. We can just-“

  
“I can pretend to have a manic episode, and request Abby to be there to calm me down or something. Not a problem.” Jasper smiled.

  
Clarke shrugged. “I mean, I don’t see why not.”

  
The plan was set. Jasper started acting and immediately requested for Abby. Clarke snuck around and went into her mother’s office. She was scanning through the files, kind of tempted to read everyone’s, but she respected their privacy. She went straight to Bellamy Blake and scanned through. She desperately tried not to read the whole file, just the birthday. She found it and exited her mom’s office. She got out to see Japer smiling and her mother hugging him.

  
“What’s going on, guys?” She walked over to them.

  
“Jasper here, he’s well enough to go home. He’s shown enough growth, and he can go home.”

  
Clarke was confused, but congratulated him anyway. When her mom walked away, she walked over to him. “But I thought you just pretended to be manic.”

  
“Yeah, _pretended_. She could tell I was faking, thought I was covering up for something, so I told her I was trying to distract her so someone could get me extra jello, but this turned out real good! I’m going home. How amazing is this!?” Jasper was smiling, his voice sounded bouncy. “So did you see the file? When’s Bellamy’s birthday?”

  
Clarke looked at Murphy’s sleeping body, then back to jasper who stopped moving around so much. “In a month. Murphy is going to be heartbroken."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry this was so late and so short. kudos and comments would be much appreciated, love you all! thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know too much about hallucinations personally, but I'm trying lmao. This isn't supposed to be triggering or insulting or anything, just a small story about Murphy. There will be multiple chapters if u guys want. Let me know with comments and/or kudos! Also let me know what I can improve on. Thank you for reading!


End file.
